Building Wings

hee hee....happy

2005-08-07T23:10:00.000+08:00

hi guys i have not blog for a very very very very very very long time liao hor... hahaha... been kinda of busy and somemore got SIP.... well for those of you who have not seen me for quite a while i am doing fine and leaving my hair long, going NS soon dun waste the free hair cut..very typical singaporean rite... hhahahaha well i am gonna cut my hair b4 i go NS cus the hair cut there will leave you wif holes on your head......take my advice i have seen many many nice holes on my friend's head.. hee hee

Another 2 weeks is PR 2 stress.... arr... my project is arr.... killer.." kill me kill me "as wat my my Ex- manager elaine likes to say... hahahaha... really i am gonna hire a killer to kill me... hee hee any interested in this offer??????

going to sleep liao cus need to go school tommrrow NITE MY DEAR FRIENDS......

sleepy day

2005-05-25T10:10:00.000+08:00

haiz... rainny day ...haiz... how i wish i can sleep... too bad must work... hahah... now skiving on the job... blogging... hee hee man o man wat a holiday, its as good as no holiday... haiz.... tired man how i wish i can go on a holiday.... how shoik can tat be man... Gold Coast will be good ..

hahahaha happy man my mum called yesterday.... she will be coming back this coming monday... hee hee .... too bad i open sch liao... haiz... cannot accompany her... damn... nvm after sch can see her liao... hope she get chivas for me.... cus said i am becoming a addict and dun wan to buy for me... haiz.... sleepy.....sleepy....

shack the ma ma sia

2005-05-06T23:40:00.000+08:00

today me and YC late for work again hahahaha... as always not tat we wan to but haiz... we are just too tired to get up liao.... hee hee

well after lunch today we became the most innovative person around hahaha... it was rainning like cats and dogs and we are late to get back to work cus today we damn busy ... lots of idiots and assholes call in to ask stupid questions... hahaha anyway we used string wrap.... and walk through the rain.....our top was totally dry but our pants alittle wet... but wen we were walking... ppl looked at us... and commented our umbrella was better... haha full body cover... hahaha

well.... today was toking toYC abt my other work place.... haiz... damn sianz.... is being nice weak??? cus... i feel i am like too nice till everyone just step... not tat i wan auth... haiz,... to long to talk abt it... very sad ... anyway.... thought of it very clear liao....

anyway gtg need to continue my orientation stuff... hahaha byb guys ... stay tune to the latest news abt me... if i not lazy to type like today... hahaha

wats in me is in me....

2005-04-30T00:03:00.000+08:00

i have been trying to escape my dark path that is in me...... i am tired really tired... of trying to control myself..... i have been supressing my true self... or is now wat i am is the true me??? i really donno.... some times i really think tis world is fucking damn dark... ppl using each other to get wat they want and to get where they wanna go... no more true feelings.... just un conditionally helping each other..... and i really wonder is kindness weakness??? being nice to ppl... usually will end up a disaster... in teh end the one getting hurt is u...

i dun usually tok much abt my stuff... just tok cock alot only.... but really... not many ppl share the same frequency... not many ppl can understand... so i find it hard to share my stuff.... is not tat i dun trust my friends or wat... but if my friend cannot share the same frequency as me will not be able to analysis the sitution wif me... sometime i find it hard to communicate wif ppl using my normal self.... not the crazy me but the real me... donno y... am i lacking confidence in myself??? or wtf am i afraid of? the truth is my heart is very much barricaded.... sometimes i really donno do i have feelings... some times i have to urge to really wanna tear something apart...

i really hate myself for i am not who i really am... the person that i should be... the true me that i have been supressing....i wonder how will my friends react if the real me where to surface?? how long can tis last?? sianz man... somtimes i really envy YC Nick they all.... they show their true self .... if unhappy abt any thing just say..... but for me i always consider tis and tat.... haiz.... maybe i will die younger than them ba hahahahahaha... nick YC i think u all will be eating my curry chicken first ... rather than me eating urs wen we are old... hahahahahahaha

well my curry chicken will have lots of potato inside ok... and mushed cus by than our teeth are all gone... hahhaa

in the end

2005-04-29T02:37:00.000+08:00

haiz... life since the holidays till now has been hactic for me.... i feel so tired and wanna die down now.... really wanna just lay there and not move a muscle.... haiz.... i really need a break 1 week b4 the sem opens...

going to 3.1 soon... and will graduate in 1 years time....looking to my backpacking trip that i am planning after poly.... wanna look at the wats really out there besides the tv or pic we only get to see in the text books.... hee hee... if i can't get anyone to come along wif me ... i guess i will have to travel alone... which will be a good time to make me think how am i going to live the rest of my life.... hahaha sounds as if as i am going to die soon rite hahaha.... as if....

i really hate myself...... really hate myself..... i ....who have derive all my principles which is so clear to me....throught my experiances and have been through.... the most hated thing has actually came true..... haiz i also donno wat i toking ... to cut it short i have failed in holding on to my principles which is so dear to me.... more than any thing.... no excuse abt it.... totally no explination abt it..... i have really failed to hold on to my principles..... i now feel so angry and hate myself.... fuck myself i say.... and my i rot in hell.... for i have done some thing very irriversable.... no matter wat ever it is i have to face the music.... i reap wat i sow.... i always believe tat.... man i hope there is some thing i can do to reverse time and erace wat i should not have done....

i think i am a person still filled wif hate .... as wat my mum say its true the more u hate wat u do not wanna become the more u will unknowingly become wat u actually hate.... i feel that it is coming my way.... i not sure y is it so true.... the more i persist.... the worst it becomes....haiz.... i just feel like getting drunk everynite and just die in a state of high.... wat a way to go ya... hahaha.... something ppl might take it as a small matter but to me it is a big thing cus it a principle i have to uphold... maybe because of the principle i have derive wif my hate of ** ****** ******... that i have unknowingly walking in to shadows .... i am really afraid i will become a person that i hate... and ppl will dislike... i really fear tat day i lost every sense in me and throw away my prinicples..... i will have all the shit in the world but not feeling and friends and family.... i am afraid to lose it all .. not my wealth nor my health... but my friends and people who are dear to me....

not tat i am lost now... i have a clear goal wat i wan in life... but is the process of getting there... i am afraid i might detour to another path tat i will not wan to or hated my whole life......

well will tok abt tis another time wen i blog gottat sleep later got meeting wif mr chew at \9.30 than ESC meeting at 10.30 than must rush down to work haiz.... hee hee

haagen daze chalet

2005-04-27T14:16:00.000+08:00

haha... tat alex cant make it to help us carry tha stuff from my place... haiz lucky got ade and alishan hahhaa.... but sad man the curry and marinating sauce spilled on the cab uncle cab.... feel so bad... imagine if u are hungry and boarded tis uncle's cab.... wow lioa the smell will make u drool man.. hahaha

than later we went bowling .... but wei shan had to go off early... man... bowl til my thumb got a big blister... hee hee

the bbq started wen lisa,crystal and roy came.... tat roy never buy bee hoon... haiz lucky the food is more than enough man.... after food had some drinks.... which is not in favour to me... hee hee hahahaa well... b4 u know it i was high... hahahah which was still damn early lor...

later when my zheng zheng came... me and roy start drowning him in liquor if not later he will still be standing while both of us are flat like the floor.... hahahaha.... i feel this chalet is not as fun as our old batch one... cus the curent batch all no drink... or if got also not much so.... only the small grp of us play and drink and the rest just watch...... haiz... if it were the old times.... no one will be awake man....all will be flat on the floor and puking aver the chalet not tat it is good la but everyone is having fun u see... hee hee i think the last chalet which was tracy's birthday if i not worng was the most fun..... everyone was dead on hhe bed and some outside... hahaha if i not wrong we drank 1 bottle of red wine and 8-10 bottles of hard liquor....
hahaha

okok i going back ot planning the cent orientation liao hhhahahaahah

road kill

2005-04-23T02:35:00.000+08:00

i feel like a road kill now... hahha... after 18 hrs of work... haha.. mentally i not tired be physically damn tired man... hee hee wat to do... wat humans do for money hee hee...

well the haagen daze chalet is coming soon really looking forward to the chalet... hee hee well... tommrrow or rather later on at 11 am go meeting which i have not prepared anything...
haiz.... damn sianz man... how... i think i will have to make do on the spot thinking rather than planning now... cus i can never think properly in the state i am in now??

haiz... today had a wonderful lunch... the canteen aunty is so nice to give me lots of liao.... dman shoik man my wanton noodles... hee hee well today was i very nice day.... everything is going smoothly.... hahhaa happy... hee hee any way got to sleep liao nitey

wat make a good leader

2005-04-17T01:37:00.000+08:00

well my defination is....

a leader does not need to be very smart, hamsome.... hee hee, tall, dark, or sporty.. etc i think u all get wat i mean.... a leader also does not need to be experianced, as in like good at tasking....

a leader is a leader who will go all the way down to do shit.... or even learn from his followers... a leader must earn respect not command respect.... earn trust and respect is the ultimate leader... earning trust is harder than earning respect... but with out tat bit of trust where does the respect come from rite??? hahaa

well.... i believe tat every is a leader... but is how u realise your strength and weakness and build on them and improve on them, by knowing your strength you can make full use of it and by knowing your weakness you can improve on it and be a better person.... a leader must sometimes make hard decision.. but wat must be done must be done..... if your men know u well enough he or she will go all out to do it for u....

but in order to achive tat.... one must really be true to their followers.... sometimes a leader must throw their pride and rank to do stuff with their men.... like making a fool of himself or sometimes clown around to ease the tense enviroment...

but a good leader will adapt to changes and make do with wat he has and fight all the way wif him men.... a leader who shows his fustration and vents anger on his men will lose all respect of his men.... just like i always believe its easy to lose a person trust in a min.... it takes a long time to build a common trust with a person....

so but making a stupid mistake you can lose it all...

well if you are a lousy leader... than forget it cus your men would have outcast you and you hold no postion in their eyes.... haha.... haiz.... donno how ppl like tat will be given a leader ship role... haiz.... well most likely ppl like tat getting such post are promoted or hired by ppl who already have no ppl skill and leader ship skill...

o ya 1 import thing i left out is tat.... wow liao very tired u noe.... better go sleep liao hahhaa

nite nite

haiz....3

2005-04-13T02:44:00.000+08:00

dreams... is having many dreams and goal in life too much??? i love my dreams and goal..... at least i have an aim in life... to dreams and set goals is a life long practice so one will not be board and feel unhappy.... but to be able to find someone who supports and accompany you to fullfill your dreams and help you get to your goal.... is really hard to come by...

nth much to say today... bad day.... upset.... depress.... unhappy... just wanna sleep and drown myslef in my sleep hahah.....

to all my friends who is reading my post... please have dreams and goals so you can have a aim in life to live for and to work towards to.......

nite guys

haiz....2

2005-04-12T02:14:00.000+08:00

well today my day started at 11 am... hahah early rite hee hee..... watched a little tv.. than decided to go for a swim.. went down to bedok swimming complex.. hoping for peace and quite swim ... haiz but got school children learning how to swim... kinda of dissappointed... well i guess that is not the only worries i have.... when i got to the pool the water was like yellowish... haiz... begger cant be choosers.... hahaha so swam for abt 12 laps of so... the sky started to turn really dark so i decided to leave b4 its too late.. than i will be stuck at the complex and late for work... haha....

luck man if not for my quick thinking i think i will be really be late for work ... anyway... after the swim went to central for lunch haha...o ya... when i was swimming i thought if i were to drown here and than..... will any one miss me>>??? i think my mum would be and bro will.... and beside them i really donno will anyone miss me... well an indiviual is unique.... so different ppl have different perception of others..... i am wondering.... haiz.... today i finished chp 2 -4 of my book... well my relationship part of my life not really smooth.... my family part of my life is a flop... tat person side one la.... ya lor... haiz... i think am i such a unhappy person ... to persue only tempory happiness... and not focus on my long term happiness..???

everyday i wake up thinking am i going to be happy today??? am i going to put up wif my false front everday... smiling to everyone ...making sure tat they do not know tat i am not happy?? am i going to barrcade myself from others..... blocking out all the caringness??? am i empty.??

o ya ... today when i went to get dinner... i went to my regular customer shop to get food.... and had a chat wif him... talked abt his backpacking experiance... he backpacked over 60 countires..... and the stuff he told me abt wat he saw and ppl he have met... i feel tat i am very shallow and really a frog in the well.... after hearing wat he told me... i think traveling might let me do some soul searching and reflect on my personallity........ maybe i feel caged gasping for fresh air.... seeing sights and hearing sounds you could only see on tv..... would be a great experiance.... my aim now... will be firm as ever... backpacking in western europe after my poly..... must save up to 4 k to be save... my regular told me 2500 will be enough... who knows... maybe i should bring extra just in case.... i reeally want to borden my view and see wats out there???

haiz....

2005-04-11T02:59:00.000+08:00

well today started for me at 1 pm.. had my branch..... and went out for a movie wif my younger bro.... the pacifer.... very nice man... hahha funny... haiz... than later went to buy a book... title:are you happy. it a self improvement .. cus i feel that i am very unhappy abt my life... donno y... maybe i am lost... or am i just sick at how i live my life... i really donno ... actually i wanted to buy another book but X leh .... 34++ never earn much last month.... so muxz wat til the next month lor... haiz... i really donno leh

well guys how to u grade me
1 to 5 as a person overall...
1 to 5 as a friend...

well i really like to know... cus i feel tat my life sux...donno y..but half of me feel loved by my mum and friends... and half of me just hate these love....donno wats going wrong wif me..i really wanna explode.... hope i dun implode.... tats bad hahha....haiz.... i am really very massed up... sometimes i really donno who to talk to... not say i dun trust my friends or wat... sometimes how i wish i am carefree....no worries like the birds in the sky.... gliding through teh blue sky... the wind singing to your ears.... now u all know y i wanna be a pilot... cus up there is only u and your plane.....

like is just like a plant... started off as a seedling... and slowly everyday growing taller and bigger... enduring the hash weather and undifferent unprecendented conditions.... with out these test of endurence... there will be no growth... isit a good thing to grow or a burden and a mistake....i really wonder.....

as i was reading through the book and taking the test... now only at chp 1 only... i found out that humans are born with a choice "to be or not to be" which means we choose to be happy or sad or angry or stress and such.... but 1 thing is for sure i am a unhappy person... donno y donno wat went wrong... donno wats my problem.... is it me wif the problem or is there a problem wif this ever changing world..?????????

anyway i just came home from work and now feeling tired....i think i better go to sleep and dun think so much liao la... haiz.... i am damn sick and tired of my life.........arrrrrrrrrrrr..................
sometimes donno y just feel like crying... but my mind always tell me not to... and for some how or rather i cant cry....... is it tat my tears are dry..., or isit i am screwed...... sometimes i really envy gals.... they can just let it out... but maybe it the years of telling myself to be strong and inpenatrable... that cus me to be wat i am today.... haiz..... y am i always going wif logic and not using my emotions... have i become so static????? what have i become..... sometime i really use my emotions... but my mind always gets in the way..using logic and plans and theory to stop me from exploding...... sometime i feel i am really not being myself... just puting a front programmed by my brain..... i really feel tired.... i am damn sick and tried of my life.... donno am i really who i am or am i just wat my hatred has changed me in to....????? wheres the decisive me???? where is the persistance me??? where is the leader in me??? where is the sportman in me??? where is the determind me??... where is the ever planning 3 steps ahead me??? where is the wise me???? i really donno wat i have become... i am like drifting here and there .... have my hatred supressed who i am .... have my hatred blinded me from wats real???....

haiz... well its the only answer i wil never get and will ever have.....but i would really like to know wats wrong wif me.... the empty me... i really feel empty and really wan to isolate every out and wan to escape from here to a place wif no one and get on wif my life alone......... and the book talks abt tempory happiness.... i feel that i have been living in tempory happiness... wat i am looking for is long lasting.. haiz... hope u all know wat i am talking abt...

anyway will blog again tommrrow hopefully.... hahaah nite guys,.... donno if i can sleep..... i am really have sleeping problems lately.... donno y.... haiz....anyway nitey nite

wat a wonderful day

2005-04-08T01:35:00.000+08:00

well today at work was the best... nth to do and sales was good due to 1 bulk sale and sold a few cakes... and a few dine in customer.... hahaha.. and enjoyed my day at work... but just hate the phone calls......

well... cus ppl frm the office will wanna check inventory la..... ask your do stupid stuff.... and stuff la... which sometimes is the damn sianz.... haha my first customer for the day is a ang mo lady wif her 3 kids.... the 3 kids are adorable.... their blue eyes.... haha... i like kids....well practically any kid.... but when they start to groww up like us headache man... it like wen your are born ... the wow and abubububu from your parents... but wen your grow up is all hte haiz and Y 's haiz.... haha but lucky i am out of tis circle....hhahaa....hee hee

everything goes well until i have to hand over my shift.... haiz... tat gal... AP queen.... arrr... super AP sia... think dun wanna tok abt her in my blog will only spoil my day... just dun get it y do such ppl exist.... donno y ppl like live for man.... really.. pisses everyone off and arrr....

haha nvm as wat i always like to believe and love " the only easy day was yesterday" hahaha

anyway later on in the day still must work wif her somemore is morning shift... haiz only both of us... damn sianz man.... to only time i enjoy at work especially working wif her is going home time hahaha....

Wat a rainy day

2005-04-06T22:12:00.000+08:00

man o man.... y is it so rainy today...very bad for busniess you noe... hahaha good for me bad for the company haha.... practically today i stone and slack @ work.. hahahaha.... damn sianz..man how i wish i can just sleep there... if there is a bed... can proprose to the head for a "sick bay" hor keke.... than i always report sick... hahhahaa... haiz...

wat a wonderful nite to sleep man...hope i will have a sweet dream and sleep till 8.50 am
haiz... tommrrow still must open shop.... hope tommrrow nth goes worng for me and hope i will not have any problems wif any customer... my work place area ppl are so assholes.... haiz.... sometimes wen i smile at them when they are complaining... i really wanna use a shot gun to blow their mouth and face out.... haiz... i really donno y is there such a person exist.... really man.... well maybe different ppl different life ba...

take every fall as a stride in life ....

rotten

2005-04-02T21:53:00.000+08:00

The guys and me went clubing yesterday.... was kinda ok... well the gals at chine tat nite wat not on enough so we had to dance we ourselves... haiz.... haha anyway i am planning to go on ladies nite.. next wed .... well lets see.... who interested pls sms or call me ok... only open to guys ok... haha wednesday is all mens nite...ar whoffffff................ hahahahahaha i am a damn lamer...

anyway 1 mama got so called drunk... and showed us wen all mama's get drunk the patten... like wanna fight like tat.... hahahhaahahha dun wanna mention name cus later tat mama cannot leave teh stage.....

today..... rotting at home.... rotting rotting rotting..... haiz.... sianz man...came home tis moring at 5 plus close to 6 and have to wake up on a heavey rainning morning at 9 to go to my bro school to see the teacher cus he failed all his subject... haiz..... until haven sleep arrrrrrrrr........................

sianz to the max man

is there????

2005-03-27T03:01:00.000+08:00

will there be end to anything??... hmmm.... sitting down blogging.... i remembered wat YC said tat day.. if he do not have a conscious he can be successful.....

i have been pondering if a person can really severe all ties and turn his/her back on some dear to get wat he wants.... haiz.... 1 thing i know for sure is that all humans born to this earth have a conscious and a heart.... by blocking out all the positive stuff... your heart and conscious will drown in darkness... like blocking help when u are in need.. and in the end with out help u will be desperate and will do anything to get out of the currently situation....

a sucessful person must he be ruthless??cunning??

for me a sucessful person is a person who has the respect of all and commands no authority....

sometimes i really think if the world could be wat i thought it would be.... and people are who i thought they were.. aren't....somtimes it really sad to see stuff unfold right in front of your eyes and you can't do anything at tat time... but when to time comes when u can do some thing abt it ...its too late...and thinking of i alwalys will only us in more agony and pain and anger... pushing ourselves unknowing towards an extreme... anger and hated will only push us to an extreme which we will not know wat we will do....

if we know how to let go... but seriously not say let go can let go one... it really hard to forget or rather put aside the hurt and pain someone caused you.... the mental touture.... everynite lying one the bed think of revenge the next day... to think of it...it is really scary.. in a way...u live your life just to show or to get back at teh person... is just not living at all.... our life wil still revolve around this circle... the never ending circle of agony....

to all my friends who are troubled with serious problems... i have been there... gone throught there... and i can tell u i have not forget and can't let go of wat they have done to me... the hurt and pain they caused me... but now to think back... without these things happening to me.. i will not be who i am today... i will still be the spoiled brat whom many hate and dislike.... hahahha... not tat alot of ppl like me now la... some ppl still thing i alittle spoiled... well...being spoiled and knowing how to enjoy wat u have is diffentciated by a fine line ...

haha wat i am trying to say is if we can look alittle on the positive side... maybe we might feel better...

Still high

2005-03-24T02:14:00.000+08:00

haha i still high on my mood... yesterday after maths 3 paper which i know will confirm pass... so happy like mad man.... hahha today still so happy... but tommrrow morning or rather later on during the day since now pass 12 am liao... hee hee must study hard for com com... and after my papers must earn more and more money to buy all my stuff... haha if still got the spare cash... may wanna buy a car... haha when i strike TOTO... hahha

where got so lucky one... haha if i strike... i will buy a evo-lancer 9 or a WRX.... hahha than give my mum suprise when she comes back ... haha...haiz.. sometimes i envy ppl who have their mums beside them to care , to cloth, to cook, to talk, to comfort them. but most of the time these ppl just take for granted... i really envy them... haha... but maybe becuse of this i became a good cook and a more responsible and fillial ... every time my mum comes back i will always get up early at 7 or 8 just to do marketing wif her... i really enjoy these times we had... we will discuess how to buy food to cook and wat to cook and how to cook... haha i like my mum's ideal daughter... haha well... my forte is western and italian.... my mum's chinese and singapore triaditational food...my little bro alittle bit of chinese but he is damn good a the oyster egg (oui louk)..... hahah... if every do not work out for me and my bro... maybe we can open a new concept cafe that serves chinese, western,italian, singapore food.... hahha not a bad idea hor...

haha later ppl come and eat got toilet we die liao confirm kanna jail one hee hee.... haiz... but i really hope to get my wings and my bro becomes a banker... to full fill my mums wishes... her wish to see both her son excel in their life and make her proud... not that she is not proud of us... but i would like to make her the happiest mum in the world..... and enjoy the rest of her life in peace and happy always... nth to worry abt.. travel around the world wif me on the plane i pilot....

sometimes really miss her touch her comforting words and the pad on the back .... her touch on your face when u are sleeping... hee hee..... i really lack of mother's love... hee hee... anyway she will be back this 11 april... haiz... my ears have been clear these few months.... soon my ears will be filled wif her voice again.... hee hee really miss her nagging at me.... u noe wat... actually i do all the stuff just to make her nag at me... when my mum nag at me she really look damn motherly... haha sick rite.... hee hee ..... i know wat i am doing and know wats wrong and rite... but sometimes really wan her to nag at me .... hahah i think she also know abt tat... hahha tats y now a days she dun really put anger in the nagging session... just nag nag nag.. hee hee

*******************
A poem for my mum
*******************
you gave me life, the precious life that you hold on dearly to for 9 months
you gave me blood, the blood that binds us for life
you gave me love, the endless love
you gave me comfort in times of need
you let me cuddle in your arms, when the thunder roars
you protect me when danger's near
your selfless act and endless care for me alwalys warms my heart
my love for you is as endless as of your
my comfort to you is as comforting as you are to me
my life quest to protect and shelter you
*********************

hee hee.... my england not very good hahahaha

Whahahah.... at last

2005-03-22T21:37:00.000+08:00

At last i passed my maths 3.... whahahaha... today the paper is given to pass.... hahhaha..... happy man... hee hee 1 more paper to go... com com on sat.... than i am free... hahahhah

can't wait for this hoilday man.... work earn money ... buy a printer ... buy a 3 or 4 megapix digicam.... do some cooking and maybe if got the extra money....build a com for playing fight sim and other game... hahaha... haiz... sianz man.... really looking forward to this sem hoilday.. than after the holiday SIP for 3- 4 months... and before i know it i am out of poly to the army... and hopefully can get to airforce to be a pilot.... hahha

if i get in and get my pilot wings my bro... ah ne(raj) will cut his little pinny winny dick.... hahha...i really hope he cut his dick ... hopefully he can finds his in the dark.. hahah joking la raj... even if i get my wings... u buy me a drink can liao la... haha.... cut ur dick later no ah ne Jr... hahaha tats sad u noe....

today was one of the happiest day in my life... i passed maths ... hee hee

Nice day

2005-03-21T01:54:00.000+08:00

well tis morning should meet nick to study Maths... haha... but i left my phone on silent mode.... haiz.... so i have 20 over missed calls .... if i not wrong 14 or 13 are from nick... an the rest are from my mo jo jo..... haha....

haiz... so in the end nick never meet me cus its too late wen i woke up at 1 pm... hahha... but i did study maths .... met mo jo jo and her friends at the BK outside TM tat one.... than gone to work after tat...

today at work i laugh my balls out man.... my manager who is leaving after tuesday..... made us laugh... by mimicking another manager's pose and style... hahha....... anyway it was really fun working under her... maybe i will leave my currently work place... cus i find that theres nothing more i can learn ... maybe i will leave after nick's special event and i have trainned my replacement who can help my manager......haiz..... if i leave.... SIP ends at 5.30.... if work other place which closes at max 11pm ... and if i start work at 6 pm ... i only earn 5 hrs... earn wat shit...but if i stay i can work 7 hrs.. cus the shop closes at 1 am... haiz.... i lost... actually i am interested to work at a restraunt kitchen as a cook.... my interest.... but no restraunt will hire a part time cook except my uncle la.... hahaha... but his restraunt he close down liao... finding a new place to open .... haiz.... haiz.....haiz.....

tRoUbLED.....

2005-03-14T00:05:00.000+08:00

today while sending nick's granddad away.... seeing sad and heart broken... reminds me of when i was sending my grandma away.... sending away a love one is hard and heart breaking.... well emotions were heavy today amoung us.... yc,raj,mac ,greg nad me were present... people who were close to nick did not appear... very sad to see tat man... i think at times like this real adn true friends should com together and give support....

after the wake... YC and me went to TM.... had a walk and chat alittle, greg joined us later, than i went to have a hair cut... they went off than...

now Yc and me is doing teh EWA report for our team....

dun seemed to have the mood to do anything.....well... really i donno where am i heading... wat i really wan now..... lost and alone.... i think i should concentrate my time and energy on pursuing my goals and dreams now... instead of standing still and revolving around.....

one thing i have learned in this 20 years is that ... nothing is perfect not anyone, not anything, not any dream, because if any of these is perfect ... we will not have to give up things and such just to live or to get watever.... u wan something u have to give up on somthing
but in life is it really worth it to give up practically everything just to get somthing which u noe might have no future???...... puzzling ya....life is just filled wif mystery and surpises.... mysteries keep us suspense and keep us on alert...... suprises often sweep us off our feet unnotice...

if perfection can be as perfect as it can be.... none of us will be on earth.... space is always perfect... cus space is = null or empty...if its emtpy theres nth to perfect and thats perfect...

** to live a day of wif joy is living a hundred years**

Gals Are GALS

2005-03-13T01:45:00.000+08:00

haiz... just got off the phone wif my gal....donno wats up wif her tonight...very sad ..
i also donno what shr wants or what have i gone wrong.... at times like this..i really donno my dear is reall happy wif me or not... i wonder is it my fault or wat????? i really donno...

here i post to all female readers of my blog..... Y women can't get straight to the point when asking question to her man... or rather y can u all just ask but not go the whole round and let us figure out wat the hell u are thinking......

acutally most men are 'dumb' sorry guys but its the truth really ....most of us men are not at tat level of asking questions... we are direct...and most of the time cant really get wat u all want....

*****************************How i feel about Women******************************

women are the greatest success and creation in this world, they are facsinating creature like cats and flowers. time and time again they say "things are actually simple" but isit?? well i always believe that how ever simple the thing is is up to an person percepive.... Example** wanting a person to accompany u to lunch** question 1 "haven u had lunch?" question 2" can u accompany me for lunch".... for women mostly use question 1.... men use 2

simple stuff make complex.... sometimes i start to wonder.... if women really as simple as they say they are... or are we men assholes who are really dumb and brain in the ass... really???

well in the end i only have 1 thing to say men can't leave without women, so does the women(not applicable to gay ,lesbian, trans and Bi)
***********************************************************************************
A poem for all my blog reader.....
--------------------------
The passing sands
--------------------------
Passing throught the Sands of time,
my heart tons like the passing sand,
wif elements of care & love,
the dunes grows strong and firm,
wif elements of storm and hurricane,
the dunes desceand lower ,
but if sun shine all year round,
the dune will stand strong

Happy & sad

2005-03-09T04:16:00.000+08:00

i am kinda of happy cus i have complete 2 projects... COM COM and DMSD.... well EWA nearly done...

i am very sad DSA HAIZ....... problem now... hahha.. nvm now doing ... me taking a break to blog... if not ppl say i never update...

actually wat i am sad abt is hearing my friends backstabbing each other and people are not helping to solve the problems and misunderstandings... not clearing things up and listening to other ppl words (ppl words = assholes who are not diplometic) i am very dissapointed wif many people ..... within these week i have seen the people whom u will fight wif u till the end and those who are juz out to make use of you and needs company....... in these past weeks lots of thing have happened..... problem started from someone... and ppl are taking sides not knowing wat really happens...

To those wat i am toking abt... i would like u all to think through the problem concers who in the first place and who is trying to help who.... n u ppl have u make thing BIG..... WTF... i really *****##$#$((*#($(#84804)$08($*(#$Q#$#@$... assholes is wat i will call u all...come on la we are all friends who played football together and TCS(tok Cock session) together... just because we all taking sides worth it or not....?????? i know things can't go back to the way it was.. but plz la u all how old liao .... some even older than me also donno how to think ... still acting like a small kid childish behavour..... Cmon guys we must learn how to diplomatic and work things out......

i know wat ever i say u all will say wat rubbish and wat fuck.... i really dun care.... cus i am airing out my views abt this whole fisco.....its a fucking joke u noe.... a problem wif 3 person that can be solved themself...... ppl must implicate themselve into their problem.... i think we should grow up and learn to mind our own business... not say i am selfish or wat... i am trying to say here is if a friend has a problem wif each other wat listener do is give unbias comments no ...putting oil into fire...... yes... coming to this point... i really one to say 1 thing.... PLEASE USE ALL UR FUCKINGS BRAINS B4 TELLING STUFF WAT OTHER TELL YOU....LEARN WAT TO SAY AND WAT NOT TO SAY..........

i am damn dissapointed wif all of us including myself...... cus NO ONE IS PERFECT but perfection can be strived and one can improve wif teh help of family ,friends and peers.....

Finally..... those who are reading my blog....please tell those who are invlove to look wat i have written... AND finally... if u all think backstabbing eaching other is fun and wat fuck.... i can tell u this ... ITS NOT... your so called backstab is peanuts...... if we all dun learn to help each and support each other.... and continue tis way..wen we go out to work... the real backstabbing is literally a killer....can cause ur rep to fall and never rise.... NO JOKE......

anyway good lucks for the exams guys.... :)

my words may seemed hushed and angry juz wanna let u all know how i feel abt teh whole fisco..... funny u noe to think of it......haiz... hope wat ever i said would help...not alot but at least would make us think of wat we wan to do next.......

haiz...a nice day

2005-03-06T02:14:00.000+08:00

today is a good day althought i am damn tired and kinda of not feeling well... haha today was late to meet mac at school to do project....was 1hr late the latest i have ever let a friend wait for me... mac good for you the first friend in my life who waited for me hahaha.. lucky you.. hee hee...

well today went to the bowling alley wif nick.. he taught me the basic... was harder than i though.. well wif practice i think i might make it... hahhaha...was kinda of fun listening to nick comment on the bowlers at the alley... hahahaha...i never can forget this phase "this place the lane make lousy bowlers look good" hahaha...

fuck up people are all around..... the stubbons one..... the oily one... and mostly thte down right self-fish ones......only care of their ownself not sparing a thought for others....to them TEAM = Together Espionage Among Mates.... fuck man these people die wan their friends or rather other people to die wif the man... pissed... the worst type is can do work but dun wan to listen to others ... fucked up to the max man.... asshole bloody WALL fuck man.. chee bai... AP... think like he very good like tat .... dun get me pissed off....

Wednesday

2005-03-02T01:24:00.000+08:00

Friendships are forged under blazing flames and iron mallets
battles lose or won, friends fall or rise.
trust is the key to friendship
lose this key is to lose the friendship

haiz... sianz man... dying DSA is a killer.... hahahha,.... can't get teh vector to work...haiz... anyway thank to my dear who cheered me up... and motivate me to try my best to solve the problem in DSA.. so now still struggling man...haha.... today me and the guys went to mac without mac hahahaha.... today especially can see tat YC and nick are troubled especially nick...

well... today was kind of ok...doing the JAE duty alone was plain boring man..but got to meet ppl from other course ... chat alittle..but i still feel bored la...no one to really crap with..hahaha..not tat i am crapy or wat..haiz...i think i should not eat "too much oily stuff" so sore throut...hahha...

DSD = Damn Sianz Day

2005-03-01T00:08:00.000+08:00

haiz..... project project project SIANZ MAN !!!!!!!!!!!! kill me hope i pass tis sem ...PLZZZZZZ let me pass this sem.. hahha man o man how i wish i am born smart(program with all the programing knowledge and skills) whaha like tat i would be in the Martix... haiz... today i cook pasta... the best i have ever done..

hahha my skill in cooking has up another level... tis means if i dun make it for my pilot dream.. or comupter engrg... i can work as a Chef.. whaha and people will start going to toliet hee hee....

well tis hoilday i would like to start my experiment on recipe i have come up wif doth...it takes time and money to do tat ... haiz.. so i guess tis hoilday i must work hard eearning money liao... hahha...how i wish my mum is around to cook chinese dishes and talk to me....haiz...the only dish i can't really cook is chinese.....

well to think of it i am lucky man....i have nice and caring friends around a loving and fun Girlfriend ... a rebellious brother(in a way la)...and a very Loving mom who is away... haiz...o o o ya... and in good health very important...
hahha

definitions

Leaders : people who lead their man to battle standing in front when the shells fall

Boot Polisher: people who curry favour others. Often mistaken for friendly ness...

oil based people: people who produce oil on their face in a day which is enough to deep fried chicken wings/.... whahaha

haiz,....

2005-02-27T03:29:00.000+08:00

sianz man... haiz... juz finish work ... cannot sleep .. lazy to update my blog.. haha so juz wanna type some nonsense in to my blog... haha haiz..

me will get my blog up and running during my hoildays

Building

2005-02-21T12:50:00.000+08:00

hi guys welcome to my blog.... it is currently under constructions